The First Church of Hayao Miyazaki's Ten Commandments
As discovered and presented by Brother Koutoku
Greetings, Brothers and Sisters!
I have some rather interesting news. It seems that, while I was passing through the dead seas, I came across a cave with many jars containing what I can only believe to be a copy of the Holy Fanfic. There really is only one true way of Anime, so, really, there is no other way to look at it. Unfortunately, many people there had other ideas. They seemed a little angry that I dared to walk out of that holy place with their first page, and the Ten Commandments...
But I have returned from the holy place. I have seen the tower of Tokyo with mine own eyes! I say that we could keep these documents secret, or to truly become the people's church! I say it is wrong to keep secrets hidden from our members! So here, for the first time, I now release the missing first page of the Bible:
"This is a work of fiction. Resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental. This is copyrighted by god, 1 AD. Reproduction of any part without the express permission of major league divinity will result in the guilty party's smiting by the holy Mallet o' Doom."
And there you have it! Proof that Brother Kael-san is indeed the Angel of Death...so be nice to her!!!
I have also re-found the Ark of the Covenant (please shield your eyes...). This was hard work, as several filmmakers and fedora-clad archeologists were also after it.
Here, written in their entirity, are:
The Ten Commandments of the First Church of Hayao Miyazaki
1. There is but one true Anime; thou shalt have no other animation before thee.
2. Thou shalt not take thy name of Anime in vain by referring to it as 'Japanimation.'
3. Thou shalt not cavort freely and wantonly with Naughty Tentacles; they should at least take you to Dinner and a Movie first.
4. Thou shalt not Dub or Edit, for they art thy bane of thine experience that is Anime.
5. Thou shalt not attempt to make profits from Fansubs.
6. Thou shalt honour thy Anime showing and step outside if thou wishes to yack with thy friends non-stop.
7. Thou shalt remain true to thy viewing practices--even if thy practices art toward Hentai and/or Yaoi.
8. Thou shalt give credit to the Original Creators and not use their work in blasphemy.
9. Thou shalt support thy Domestic Companies that release translated Anime, but thou shalt also chastise them long, loud and ugly when they Screw Up.
10. Thou shalt sing thy praises of Anime throughout the world in all places people dwell.
I thank you all for your support!
I bless you all in the name of Miyazaki, Watase, and the holy CLAMP.
Live, love, laugh, loaf, and watch more anime.
Co-Pope and CEO
Reporting from the Holy Land for The First Church of Hayao Miyazaki.