From the Book of Watase, called
Neon Genesis

The Garden of Eva

Thus Anime and Manga were finished, and all the characters upon them.

And on the seventh day Miyazaki ended his work which he had made; and he switched off the projector and called a 10-minute break from all his work which he made.

And Miyazaki blessed the 10-minute break, and sanctified it:  because that in it he needed to be sure that the concession stand was operating properly and that Otaku were not sneaking in without paying.

These ARE the generations of the Manga and Anime when they were created, in the day that Miyazaki created Manga and Anime.

And every mech that fought was beneath the Manga, and every pose had not been made yet in anime:  For Miyazaki had not caused the anime characters to pilot the mechs, and there was not a cute adorable girl to pose while having clothing removed from her body systematically.

But there went up a sudden urge to make Pretty Girl Transformations, and to fight in objects the size of Jupiter.  And this thought spread throughout all of Anime and Manga.

And the Lord Miyazaki formed anime characters of the dust of the pages of Manga, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of character development; and anime characters became living souls.

And the Lord Miyazaki planted a garden eastward in Eva; and there he put Shinji and Asuka whom he had formed.

And out of the ground made the Lord Miyazaki to grow every plot that is pleasant to the sight, and good for storyline; the tree of life (and other symbols appropriated from the Cabbala, for they were exotic and mysterious and looked pretty cool) also in the midst of the Garden of Eva, and the tree of marketing, of anime subbing and dubbing.

And a story flowed through Eva to water the garden; and from thence it was parted, and became into four great cities.

The name of the first is Tokyo:  That is it which compasseth the whole holy land of modern Japan, where there is Tower of Tokyo and many able-bodied and extremely efficient construction workers to rebuild it.

And the Tower of Tokyo of that land is good:  For it suffers from many monster and CLAMP attacks and adds action sequences to much animation.

The name of the second city is Neo-Tokyo:  the same is it that compasseth the whole holy land of future Japan, but is rarely seen unless it is about to explode.

And the name of the third city is Tokyo-3:  That is it which goeth towards the area of fiction of science.  And the fourth city is Tokyo-2, which serves only as a stunt double for Tokyo-3.

And the lord Miyazaki commanded the anime characters, saying, of every of the garden thou mayest freely eat:

But of the tree of marketing, of anime subbing and dubbing, thou shalt not eat it:  for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely cause many Otaku to hear the dub and die of embarrassment or to commit seppuku.

And the lord Miyazaki said, It is not good that the anime characters should be alone; I will make him and help meet for him.  However, it was apparent after a glance into the world of Hentai, that this was not required work.

And while Shinji waited, he grew sullen and resentful of his father.

And the lord, in anger, caused a deep sleep to fall upon Shinji and he slept:  and just to drive the point home he removed any backbone Shinji had already developed, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;

And the backbone, which the lord had taken from Shinji, made him several Angels, and brought them unto Shinji.

And Shinji said, This is now bone of my bone, and messed up beyond all recognition, but that guy with the purple hair seems OK.

Therefore shall a man be a spineless wimp, and shall cleave unto anyone: and the rest shall beat him into an unrecognizable pulp.

And both Shinji and Asuka were both in raw Japanese, the quiet boy and the loud German girl, and they were not ashamed.

Retreateth to CHAPTER ONE.
Return thee to the First Church of Hayao Miyazaki.