The Second Book of Watase, called
Excel Saga

CHAPTER NINETEEN:
The Tower of Tokyo

In the third month, when the Otaku of the holy city of Tokyo were gone forth out of the land of Speed Racer, the same day came they into the wilderness of the Tower of Tokyo.

For they were departed from the evils of Drag-on and on and on Ball, and were come to the desert of the Tower of Tokyo, and had pitched in the wilderness, for there was only 300 tickets available for the next Judy and Mary concert.  And there Otaku camped before the tower knowing that the concession stand was to open early.

And Conan, the Boy in Future, went up unto Miyazaki, and Miyazaki called unto him out of the Tower, saying, Thus shalt thou stay to the house of Comedic-drama, and tell the rest of the children of anime worship;  Ye have seen what I did unto the box office record of Titanic, and how I bear you on dragons' wings with Sen to Chihiro no Kamikakushi and bring you unto myself.

Now therefore, if ye will obey my voice indeed, and keep my covenant, then ye shall be a peculiar treasure unto me above all Otaku:  for all the earth is mine.  But unlike L. Ron Hubbard and Scientology, I try to be fair and don't use my vast fortunes to sue innocents.

And ye shall be unto me a kingdom of  memorable anime heroes, and a holy anime nation which is now finally turning profit on the web.  These are the words which thou shalt speak unto the Otaku.

And Conan came and called for the Con's organizers, and laid before their faces all these words which Miyazaki commanded him.

And all the people answered together, but a quick flicking of the light switch on and then off halted this.  And the people said, All that Miyazaki hath spoken we will do, for if we do not, we know he will never attend next year's Con.  And Conan returned the words of the people unto Miyazaki.

And Miyazaki said unto Conan, Lo, I come unto thee in a thick cloud, for we have met within the smoking section of the tower, that people may hear when I speak with thee, and believe thee for ever.  And Conan told the words of the people unto Miyazaki.

And Miyazaki said unto Conan, Go unto the people, and sanctify them to day and to morrow and let them wash their clothes and take of baths, for frankly, many of them need it.

And be ready against the third day:  for the third day Miyazaki will come down in the sight of all the Otaku upon the Tower of Tokyo.

And thou shalt set bounds unto the people round about, saying, Take into the Tower, or touch the border of it:  Whoever toucheth the Tower shall surely be put to death, for CLAMP hath not yet finished filming yet there.

There shall not an hand touch it, but he shall surely be stoned, or shot through; whether it be demon-beast or man, it shall not live:  when the trumpet soundeth long, the CLAMP attack hath finished, so they shall come up the Tower.

And Conan went down from the tower unto the Otaku, and sanctified the Otaku; and they reluctantly washed their clothes and took baths every day of the Con.

And he said unto the people, Be ready against the third day, and thereby added to the growing anticipation.  Also, come not at your wives, for the Con has a very strict policy of no sex within public view.

And it came to pass on the third day in the morning, that there were thunders and lightnings, and a thick smog upon the Tower of Tokyo, but the weather forecast said it would clear up before nightfall, so all were relieved.  The voice of the trumpet was exceedingly loud, so that all the Otaku that were in the con could hear.

And Conan brought forth the people out of the con to meet with Miyazaki; and they stood at the nether part of the Tower.

And the Tower of Tokyo was altogether on a smoke, because the special effects wizards helping in promotion of the event descended upon it a fire:  and the smoke thereof ascended as the smoke of a furnace, and the whole tower quaked greatly.

And the voice of the trumpet sounded long, and waxed louder and louder, Conan spake, and Miyazaki answered him by a voice.

And the lord Miyazaki came down upon the Tower of Tokyo, on the top of the Tower and Miyazaki called Conan up to the top of the tower; and Conan went up.

And Lord Miyazaki said unto Conan, go down, charge the Otaku admission, lest they break through unto Miyazaki to gaze and many of them perish due to the stampede.

And let the organizers also, which come near to Miyazaki, sanctify themselves, lest the lord Miyazaki break forth upon them.

And Conan said unto the lord Miyazaki, The people cannot come up to the Tower of Tokyo:  for thou chargedst us, saying, Set bounds about the tower, and sanctify it.

And Miyazaki said unto him, Away, get thee down, and thou shalt come up, thou, and Kiki with thee: but let not the organizers and the people break through to come up unto Miyazaki, lest he break forth upon them.

So Conan went down unto the Otaku, and spake unto them.
Proceedeth to CHAPTER TWENTY.
Retreateth to CHAPTER TWO.
Return thee to the First Church of Hayao Miyazaki.